If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
she peed on how many people?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
