tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
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