honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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