Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
