she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
