dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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