Porn is love you can see.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
