The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
