Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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