at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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