love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
