Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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