she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
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