How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
