butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
