these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
