Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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