he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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