just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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