He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
