I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
