his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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