I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
You have to summon your inner elephant
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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