If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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