omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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