I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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