Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
