She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
