"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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