laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
