FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
