Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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