that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I want her autograph on my taint
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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