you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
