i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
