So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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