he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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