I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Randomize
