Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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