You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I just want nice things and good sex
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
