90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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