I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I wish I could teleport
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Someone came in the potted fern
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
