i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I just forgot I was standing up.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
