Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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