Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
