dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
