where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
