Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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