So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
