I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
how drunk are you?
Several
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
